I am not defective!

I've always found that those Sunday mornings when I'm too tired and don't really want to go to church, those are the days that I need to go most. This morning was one such morning.
I woke up with my eyes burning and just plain exhausted, mentally and physically. It would have been so easy to just stay in bed and sleep but I got up. We were about 5 minutes late for church but I made it!

For Sunday school our bishopric prepared a beautiful lesson on adversity and how to deal with it. I felt that it was just for me. I needed to hear this. I needed this boost. Let me explain....

Last night I had been looking at the website the doctor gave me on Functional Neurological Disorders (fndhope.org) and began to feel so sorry for myself. I felt like I was some psycho mess and that everthing I've been going through lately was all in my head. It was so discouraging.  I told Wayne I was sorry I was defective and just cried. He held me and said,  "Oh no, you're not defective. Not even close!" Then he asked me if I thought his mom was defective because she had only one arm. I whole heartedly said No! She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and an inspiration to me! Then Wayne told me that God puts big hills in front of those He thinks can overcome them. I told him that I supposed that was true, but I was really hoping that God thought I was a wimp. :)  Wayne always knows how to make me smile and look at things from a different angle.

Back to Sunday school... they shared a video of a lady who had been burned on over 90% of her body due to a plane crash. She survived and had struggled with depression and pain, but she overcame her trial. It's on youtube, but here's the link.  My new life  I highly recommend it.
What an amazing story of inspiration!  I felt that I really had no room for complaint after watching that. I can only hope that I can be as resilient. 

In Relief society we discussed one of the conference talks from October by Jeffery R. Holland.  I love that guy. It was about the same topic. In fact, he mentioned that woman from that video. He spoke on How do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? I remembered this talk and just loved it. Hearing it again has helped me so much.  It hit very close to home.

Like a broken vessel by Jeffery R Holland

Let me share a few quotes from that talk that touched me and why.

"Though we may feel we are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says, we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter. Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.  "

I felt I was defective in some way and I still do a little, but hearing that helps me to realize that I am going through a refining process. I'm not done yet. I am in my maker's hands and when He is done molding me I will be a magnificent and  beautiful piece of art.  We must go through the fire to become what we were meant to be.

"We are infinitely more than our limitations or afflictions."
Our teacher in Relief society held up a banana that was covered with Brown spots and looked a little rough. She said her kids look at bananas like that one and say I'm not eating that it looks terrible.  But when she unpeeled it, it was in perfect condition. A sweet, ripe and tasty treat. We can't judge others or ourselves by what we look like or lack. I need to keep that in mind more.

"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend.....“That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” 

I think sometimes I forget this most important fact. That is why I go to church every Sunday, because I need to be reminded.  :)

"Believe in miracles." 
I do :) 

 "Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead."
We must be strong and know that He is with us, always.

"Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education."
This goes back to the refiners fire I talked about. I just need to be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day.... But sometimes it is hard to patiently endure. So I take deep breaths.....lots of deep breaths.

I'm glad I dragged myself out of bed this morning.  I needed these reminders. I needed to hear the things that were shared today. How thankful I am for my faith and my Savior.  I know He lives and hears my prayers. I know He is with me always. I'm so glad I have Wayne in my life to help me through this and to remind me that I am stronger than I think I am.  I'm a lucky wife and mother. :)